Lesson Learned Through My Love's Time Capsule

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I've got a confession to make
I lost myself….
lost myself in trying to hold on to someone
Who didn't care about losing me
You know the trouble with love
Is that it’s
Blind
 
The glitz and glamour of the
Lovely-dovey affection
The feeling of knowing that you've
Got someone in your corner supporting you
lover… friend… confidant
 
However, I’m afraid that’s not always the case
Love has been cruel and mean
And I guess the hopeless-romantic in me
Expected too much
If love has taught me anything, it’s that
Expectations lead to disappointment
And my standards are too high to settle for just standard
I guess, I set them too high
Because they were never fully satisfied
 
I took a journey through my love’s time capsule
I traveled all the way to the beginning
At first there wasn't light
Just pure infatuation
And golden bliss
All was good until
Love
Because love held me captive
Trapped in a spider’s web of lies
When I released, I turned into Alicia and
Kept falling
 
I expected a fairy tale
You know, for you to be my prince charming
We’d drive off into the sunset in your old beat up white car
I thought we’d be like the corny couple in that Taylor Swift song
But the joke’s on me I guess
Because I continued to play the fool
I guess that’s what I get for believing in Disney movies
And letting them being the guide to my reality
 
Unfortunately, replaying that
Lenny Williams’ song
“’Cause I Love You”
And I do
Well, I did
 
The things I do for love…
The things I did for love…
How many of us ask ourselves why we make the same mistakes
Over and over again?
It seems to be clear that I can’t stray away from
Previous poorly made decisions that I've made
 
I keep making the mistake of letting you in
But you tell me nothing but lies
That I foolishly believe to be
Vogue’s latest trends dressed in the truth
I had to let you go, even though I really didn't want too
 
For quite some time,
We weren't a couple
Nor ex’s
Just strangers with burning complicated memories
 
Then, you came back asking to be a part of my life again
Reluctantly with caution I allowed you back in
As always history repeats itself
And you did the same thing yet again
 
Newsflash
The emotional abuse is deadlier that the physical
I’d rather take Zeke than you any day
I’d rather you hurt me with the truth
Than to try and comfort me with a lie
 
You have a problem
Because no one needs to lie that much about anything
At least be man enough to tell me the truth instead waiting for
“the right time”
To hurt me
Because there is no right time
It’s either now or never
Don’t waste my time
 
At least my first and last
Abusive prince was honest with his problem
 
But to hell with you
And I swear this time I mean it
Thank you for teaching me that I can’t hold on to people who
Don’t want to be held on too
If you don’t want to be a part of my life,
I won’t force you
Wanna leave?
Hell, I will not stop you!
I’ll hold the door open for you!
Don’t let door hit you where the good lord split you!
 
In reality, I feel sorry for you sweetie
Because you jump from girl to girl
While still knocking the boots with old lovers
To you, all of this is a game
Where your penis is the master
And your next “ride-or-die” is getting brutally
Used and played
 
I just pray that your daughter won’t ever meet
A guy like you when she comes of age
If she does, that will truly be the karma
You had much anticipated
 
Good luck to the next girl who is brave enough to
Put up with your foolishness
 
Because you are a leach that constantly sucks the happiness
Through what you paint as a beautiful fantasy made reality
When truthfully, the misconception of your love is a
Fallacy
 
I don’t have time for that
I must save my much needed energy
To chase the bigger and better dreams
Down the road awaiting me
 
Truth is,
When you look for love
You don’t find it
What you find is an illusion of what you think is
Love
Which is masked by deception
So you lie down with dogs and get up with fleas
Start to walk around with a false glow when your heart is telling you
“it’s the bees knees!”
But your mind is aware that this chance at love is
A losing game
 
But enough with that
Because I’d rather take the high road
No matter how much I may be hurt and cynical
About love at times
In the back of my mind,
My faith is stronger than any doubt
And strongest in moments of despair
Love will find its way to me one day
God designed someone made just for me
He’s out there somewhere
 
When we find each other
That’s when I’ll have my time
To share a unselfish, honest love
With a man who won’t “love” me with
Malicious, dangerous hands
Or
A beguiled, sharp tongue
That will break my trust
 
Then I’ll really know the meaning of
“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in returned.”

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