i'm writing this poem at ten-twenty-four at night

those words trickle down my tongue, ten-twenty-four, ten-twenty-four

ten-twenty-four what?

ten-twenty-four black windows

ten-twenty-four scabs crusted down my eczema-drilled back

ten-twenty-four lessons my poetry has taught me.

my poetry has been my eyeglasses, ten-twenty-four big-girl bifocals that clear my blurred vision through autumn glass frames

and through my eyes have tought me to see,

see the heroin syringes and brown babies in downtown philadelphia

help them however you can, sing to them ten-twenty-four

teach me to avoid being cowardly and to escape the shallow grip of humanity,

saying buy this, buy that.

Buy yourself ten-twenty-four, watches

museum tickets,

animal bones.

ten-twenty-four lessons my poetry has taught me,

do not cry when life spits on you, do not sob when the boat leaves before you've reached the dock

because does that mean you'll never reach the dock at all?

do not slam your fists to your face when the car breaks down

do not slam your fists to your face at all.

ten-twenty-four lessons my poetry has tought me,

i know resisting the urge to carve into your skin is wild and rampant but you've managed to do it for four years! you've managed to do it at all!

the time is now ten-thirty-six at night, and much like my numbers have changed

(and we have flowed downstream from the realm of ten-twenty-four)

we have flowed downstream from the lessons my poetry has taught me.

lessons my poetry has taught me,

most recently,

to find yourself in ways that you never have found yourself before.

to understand love, to understand fear, to understand that life is not one island.

life is not one sailboat.

life is not one green kitchen, chopping up carrots and living in mundane agony.

life is this.

life is ten-thirty-six, and every number that has come between her.

life is ginsberg, life is kerouac, life is eczema scabs and savannah nightlife.

life is more than ten-thirty-six, 

a-plus, 

four-hundred-thousand. 

 

life, is wide,

and like carr had spoken himself, 

that is the only way it will ever find itself interesting.