Dear first love,
It has been two years and I still can’t stop thinking about you. Flashbacks of the countless times you have made me smile still replay in my head. I often conceptualize how worthwhile my life would be if you were still in it. I repeatedly think about the memories we shared when we were young, jubilant, and hysterically in love. Well, at least I thought we were. I was.
I have so many unanswered questions. Why did you feel like you had to leave? Was it something that I did? Why is it that after two years I still can’t go two days without contemplating what I could have done to keep you in my life? How come just the thought of you still makes my heart plunge? Why is it that I can’t fathom the idea of anyone else taking your place? The love you said you had for me, was it genuine? If not, why did you lie to me? Why is this affliction that I’ve been trying to erase still holding on to me for dear life?
You never gave me a reason as to why you left. I think that’s what wounded me the most. You led me to think that you were always satisfied with me. I know we were young, but I thought you would be my forever. I thought you were the one who I would never be able to live life without. I thought you were the only one who would be able to cheer me up on my worst days. I guess I was wrong. Maybe it was me. Maybe I was too spellbound by love that it blinded me from what you saw dividing us. The tattoo of pain you left will remain on my heart forever. I still love you. I will always love you. I just hope that one day, someone will bring as much fulfillment into your life as you once brought into mine.
The one that got away,