A Letter to my Past, Present, and Future Self

Past Self
Lost, confused.
Tossed, abused.
I ONCE crossed for you.
I TWICE dodged for you.
I left me,
Just like you left me
For you;
All THREE of you.
Disregarding it,
I mirrored your shit;
Writing the right words,
In all the wrong places.
Anything to make,
Me feel alive.
Anything to make,
My palette hued.
I let the peak of my piques
Go further.
No mother nor father.
Your daughters;
The sanguine and the phlegmatic.
Current Self
Now I've become both.
The one I was not before,
Is now "Unreachable".
Young seeds impure.
I want to explore,
Every fiber of your being.
In every cerebrate,
Finding your meaning.
But I cannot.
I cannot reach the 
"Unreachable".
You cannot reach "FOUR"play,
Without my FIFTH.
The SIXTH time you did it,
Will be the first that I miss.
Pith of my path in Harlem:
Where I find my today,
Where I had embraced my yesterday,
Where I will think of, as my tomorrow—
Is where my stone spins
In motion.
They say SEVEN days
Without love,
Makes one weak.
I've gone two years 
Without mine—
Not my inward thoughts,
Or my ill-fated relationships;
Filled with abuse and wrong doings—
Too long into it.
In some way,
The "Unreachable's" alluring.
Without mine.
Future Self
My growth sprouts,
Mostly because of
Being desecrated and deprecated.
A seed was planted,
A little twig with a little leaf.
A little fix and a little tweak.
I branched the base,
And made a new reality.
I will skip the last three, 
Like I did for my first seven
Just to end with my TENTH.
Foreign guidelines to play
The twisted hopscotch
Maze of my ratiocination 
I cater to and hide behind this
No "for sure" feeling,
But, for sure...you're feeling
That, this could be last.
Or maybe,
A new cycle—
Starting with my past
Self

 

 

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