A hollow body of nothingness, hiding behind a perfect smile and masked by the words I speak.  My kind eyes and subtle laugh, persuades people I’m not weak.  I cry until I run out of tears. Sometimes that’s for days, but regardless of the time, the pain doesn’t go away.  I want to feel like myself again, a tired that sleep can’t fix.  What does it take to be happy again? I’ve tried all the tricks.  Hidden somewhere in my mind my thoughts are clear and concise.  I make irrational decisions without even thinking twice.  Trapped by my own thoughts I try to break free.  But I’m in a war I cannot win, why is that so hard to see?  The voices inside my head are just trying to make themselves known; with the voices inside my head, it’s hard to be alone.  I lock myself in my room and try to forget the pain, but the walls are slowly closing in and I think I’m going insane.  Depression has finally got a hold on me, it’s taking over my life.  I promised I would never hurt myself but now I’m reaching for a knife.  I hide the scars on wrists with long sleeve flannel shirts, and the ones on my thighs are never seen because I refuse to wear skirts.  “How are you today?” I respond with “Doing fine.” A million thoughts run through my head knowing that I just lied.  I see the world passing by as I drowned in my own sorrow, if only someone had some happiness that I could temporarily borrow.  This way of life is not a choice, I wish I had a choice, if only I could find my voice then I could rejoice.  They say that time heals all but things are getting worse. If time really does heal all why am I still living this curse.  What people do not understand this is not a state of mind, depression is a mental disorder and a cure they cannot find.  The cure, you actually find inside yourself we have to make this known, and then maybe we can prevent people from just letting go.