Letting Go

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  A hollow body of nothingness, hiding behind a perfect smile and masked by the words I speak.  My kind eyes and subtle laugh, persuades people I’m not weak.  I cry until I run out of tears. Sometimes that’s for days, but regardless of the time, the pain doesn’t go away.  I want to feel like myself again, a tired that sleep can’t fix.  What does it take to be happy again? I’ve tried all the tricks.  Hidden somewhere in my mind my thoughts are clear and concise.  I make irrational decisions without even thinking twice.  Trapped by my own thoughts I try to break free.  But I’m in a war I cannot win, why is that so hard to see?  The voices inside my head are just trying to make themselves known; with the voices inside my head, it’s hard to be alone.  I lock myself in my room and try to forget the pain, but the walls are slowly closing in and I think I’m going insane.  Depression has finally got a hold on me, it’s taking over my life.  I promised I would never hurt myself but now I’m reaching for a knife.  I hide the scars on wrists with long sleeve flannel shirts, and the ones on my thighs are never seen because I refuse to wear skirts.  “How are you today?” I respond with “Doing fine.” A million thoughts run through my head knowing that I just lied.  I see the world passing by as I drowned in my own sorrow, if only someone had some happiness that I could temporarily borrow.  This way of life is not a choice, I wish I had a choice, if only I could find my voice then I could rejoice.  They say that time heals all but things are getting worse. If time really does heal all why am I still living this curse.  What people do not understand this is not a state of mind, depression is a mental disorder and a cure they cannot find.  The cure, you actually find inside yourself we have to make this known, and then maybe we can prevent people from just letting go.  

This poem is about: 
Me
Our world
Guide that inspired this poem: 

Comments

bands_freak

That is absolutly amazing 

 

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