The Lies

People ask me how I am
As if they actually care.
I see through all their lies
and I fight through all my fear.
I tell everyone that I am fine
And they have no reason to worry.
I lie to the people who don't care
but I also lie to the people who do.
I fear what the truth may bring.
This truth is...
I am far from fine.
I lost my friend.
I'm losing my motivation.
The past summer was filled with death
and I never truly coped.
I tried to be strong,
I tried to help others
but I never took care of myself.
This all happened right before my senior year.
Now,
I have to overcome the difficulties,
the hardships,
but also the stress of putting together my life.
There are important decisions to make
about college,
My life.
I am realizing
next year, I am on my own.
I am leaving the only place I have known
and starting a brand new life.
I want to start being honest
but then the fear overcomes me.
I have to lie
because I don't want to bother
the only friends I have left.
These are my problems,
Not theirs.
You could probably say I am too caring
And that it would never bother my friends,
but I know the truth
and I can't let them see the real me yet.

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