Can't you see I'm trying my hardest?

That I'm giving all I've got?

One more sprint

one more suicide

I could break at any second

but all you see is imperfection

no skill

no talent

you see what everyone else sees

you don't see me

not the pain

or the tears

or the strenth it takes to stay here

my heart breaks

here sitting on this bench

I long to be out there

bump

set 

spike

kill

but I guess that takes more than my own skills

I practice

but I have nothing to show for it

my passions

my dreams

they're just not ment to be

everyone says I'm a big part of this team

I don't have a jersey

I'm not on the roster

we win

and I feel like I'm in the stands

I hear their names

and for a second I thought I might join them

out on the court

victory at last

but I watch in silence

holding back tear

I can't wait to get out of here

it was my choice

I chose this for myself

it's better to be a small part

than not be a part of it at all

this is what I tell myself

but that fact doesn't take away the pain

I listen and take in a much as I can

in the hopes that one day

I might be good enough to come off the stands

I'm done taking score

in a game I can't win

tonight I'll walk home looking down

so you can't see what emotions

I hide within

knowing that tomorrow

I'll do it all over again

I'll never let you see

what this really does to me