Life Rap
Location
Wrap your entire life in it!
...
I was wrapped in a yellow blanket
Dressed in a pink blouse
Given Legos to work with
Had some dolls and played house.
Enthralled by Chalkzone and Dragon Ball Z,
Out-of-the-Box, Powerpuff Girls, and Barnie.
I was in the Girl Scouts
Didn't like the girls, ouch.
The older girls neglected me the younger ones rejected me
I wasn't cute enough, I wasn't nice enough,
I wasn't big enough, but I was sick enough
Sick enough to believe this was bad.
Quick enough to confuse them, appease them
Make myself stand out as a weirdo, didn't need them
But I did. I still thought I did.
Played F horn in high school with other weirdos
I was trained to be their leader
But I couldn't make them into believers
Ha, we had some fun though.
Mom never taught me to dress up
My parents never gave me "the talk"
Never saw Dad drink beer from a plastic cup
No, what I got from them was how to sit on a couch and not walk.
Then I met Christ
I shut the door in his face
I didn't recognize him, see
I wasn't part of the race.
Started hearing voices
Started my first relationship
Made some really bad choices
Unaccepted for that internship.
Got out of high school
Accepted to some universities of my choice
But my parents didn't have a financial clue,
My face turned blue, I didn't have a choice.
Ended up at community college
A slap in the face
Constant fear of losing my edge
That's when I started the race.
Ended the first
While taking on religion blind
Finally got that "truth thirst"
So I joined a church I thought divine.
They treated me, probed me
Its goal to corrode me
Made a lot of "instant friends"
Follow them; it's a crime to make amends.
I did a lot of crying
Thought it'd keep me from dying
Y'know, what lonely people rave and crave
This church addressed it all, thought it could save.
Some angels at work, yeah, so twisted
Wish it never existed used to wish I had resisted
They would've stolen my heart
Had I not remembered it had already been torn apart.
Ended that quest
Felt sick for the innocent members
Went back to my old church without zest
Used to wish I couldn't remember.
Again I was all alone
Had an inconsistent flow
Started dating strange numbers
Stopped eating, speaking, sleeping, my grades suffered.
Started my second relationship
Real slow, real fast
When he said he didn't worship
I had doubts whether it would last.
The time was pouring
Ended it almost in time for mourning
It was the anniversary of my escape
PTSD left me bent out of shape.
My train of thought moves on to my career
Physics, at first thought, no place for a brazier
Lucky I didn't have a clue how to be a lady
At least not the kind without cats.
Well this dream was built over a heap of aspirations
Started off wanting to be a chef
But my tongue wasn't used to the acclimation
Wanted to be a teacher yet my linguistics didn't flesh.
Then I saw all those Blue Planet documentaries
My passion for marine biology grew hotter
It took a trip to Florida to convince me
That I'm terrified of being in water.
Physics came around eleventh grade
Didn't fit into my flux
But I couldn't let it fade
I got the A minus and that wasn't enough.
Took it a step further
with Astrophysics
Even more of a desirable blur
I knew I had to fix this;
The illusion of confusion
When you're high from nuclear fusion
But it still didn't fit into my life; it wasn't enough
I got those B minuses it was tough.
I needed God's approval
It was time for a duel
Figure out why this is crucial
Or have surgery for removal.
For a long time I was unsure of this lure
Panic at night from the obscure
Mentally entreating Him,"Who am I?" from my core.
One day it was time to reorganize
Get out my Feng Shui to supervise
That was the day I got to recognize
Those habits; wearing orange, wearing triangles,
My attraction to warmth, my desire to never expire,
Unquenchable energy I try so hard to expend
To be as bright as I can, to consume all, to spread love end to end
Coupled along with my fear of the known:
My respect for the ocean and its inhabitants has grown
My understanding of water's use in mechanics and space
My love for sea imagery and symbolism faceted for each case
Foreign to my nature,
Yet just as well gaining stature,
It's yin and I'm yang
Afraid to be quenched, I'm just a small flame
I can see that now, I'm on fire
Pursuing Love is my only desire
So how could attempting a career about the stars seem odd
If it brings me closer to God?