Walking with a cloud of despair over my head

dreading what the future holds near or lack there of

mourning the loss of all sanity I started with 

now it's me against high school Bermuda 

with the same events happening everyday that make it unbearable for me to want to stay

I confide in a person I thought I held dear to my heart but they ended up playing the pity part

holding onto hope I dish out to a few more feeding their very soul the gossip about my life nobody knows

they end up playing their own role but am I the fool?

or am I the puppet?

What happens to the puppet when he cuts his strings

out of curiosity i sever all ties to the controlling one

I start to plan my own demise whether its with chemicals or a stool and a rope

emotion hits me hard in the middle of class shaken and stirred gasping for air 

will I really go through with this? Will my family even shed a tear 

no more procrastination the time is near giving off no signs that I am dead inside 

no outsider knows what the insiders soul screams and shouts 

the ones I told called it a bluff 

when it's done they'll carry something equivalent to the weight of the world 

a chip on their shoulder they'll never quite seem to shake 

As I think my last thoughts all thoughts turn back to you

or should I say me I wonder and wonder but I make no moves to stop

i just debate on chemical or rope or maybe something a bit more daring 

i decide on the easy way out 

nail to the wall rope around my neck knotted tight there is no escape

do i see the light I think as I take that first step I quickly step back up because the light is too bright

it illuminates my fears I close my eyes and pick up the cup 

Drink the contamination I came up with my mind slowly shutting down

i see the light 

i take a step closer 

air is getting tighter 

i finally see the light