Living with a wall

 

             Living with a wall. This wall used to be a mother, this mo­­ther showed compassion love affection. She listened to your stories cared about your day, but there was one day when she gazed out into the sky and you saw her everything slip away from her soul. You didn't realize it at the time but from that point on you were living with a wall. She blankly smiled, barely listened, and blindly said "I love you too." Once you realized she had been stripped from every morsel of her being that made you love her as any child would, you grew aggravated. Aggravated by the fact that when you spoke she haphazardly listened. Aggravated at the fact that when you would utter the words "I love you mom" with all of the emotion and strength and meaning you could have in your voice she would be there to say "I love you too" as though they were just words without meaning, words without power, words with no voice. You grew aggravated by the fact that no matter what you said it would have no meaning, no voice. All you longed for was too see a crack in that wall set with a real smile, but that was too much to ask for. So you cry, not for yourself… but for her. You open up and tell her how you feel, how you have been treated. You tell her, "Find your soul again because I miss my mom." Finally the wall is being chipped away, there are cracks and crevices in the thought to be impregnable wall. You run to keep breaking the wall down to get your mother back. Sadly she is too gone. The wall can't be broken. You were merely fooled by the thought of your mother coming back. To this day you cry, you cry because she is emotionless, as are her words, and the words that hurt you the most when she speaks them are "I love you." You must learn to live with a wall, a mother who has lost that special gleam in her eye, a mother who has lost her soul.

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