Lost in My Mind and Found in Yours
Sometimes I lie in bed at night and wonder why there was a difference
Why your love is the one that will be there even when I'm falling apart
And all the others were based on the condition that I be what they called sane.
I've lived and loved through so many of those conditional statements
That I can't even tell which ones are worth trying to be anymore.
They said just tell me when you feel alone and I'll be there
Except when I did they told me it was too often
That they felt smothered
And to just be happy
As if somehow I could control my happiness, and the triggers
Control every time I was reminded of being raped
And control every time I didn't understand the difference between them
And those who hurt me.
I don't want you to love me on a condition I can't fulfill
I'd rather you rip out my heart right now
Then ask me to try to achieve some level of sanity that I lost the ability to long ago.
This is what I think about when I can't have your arms wrapped me
Whispering into my ear that although I don't see much left of me
That every bit is worth loving and that you'll do as much as you can
And as much as I let you.
I miss you so much
Yet when you're here, I'm not.
I'm sorry.
The last thing I want you to remember
Is that I will always love you
For giving me myself back.
Comments
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Chloe Elizabeth Hadden
WOW! That is powerful I feel the same way. It is great to have poetry to let out emotion. Alot of the time when I write a poem emotionally no one can under stand what I am saying so congraulations thats a big step.
QuirkyRose
This is something I search for in someone because I share the desire for someone to understand or at least try to understand how my mind works. Love your poem. :)