I can’t give all of my heart
Because it’s been torn apart,
And that tender look in my eyes
Hides my real desire to cry.
And no longer does the cold winter air
Makes me feel like life is fair.
For what used to be the sweet smell of flowers
Is now but rotten for hours.
And what used to be the beautiful display of dancing rain
Are now just puddles of pain.
The wind has become a destructive blow,
And the sun is a terrorizing glow.
I used to believe nothing could ruin my mind,
But now I see it’s destroyed by my own kind.
I only find comfort in the dark,
Or sometimes by the soft sound of a lark.
Yet somehow I’m still at a loss
As to how my body and heart are tossed.
I’m nothing but a disgruntled mess,
And it seems I always settle for less.
I only find joy in the night,
And yet that too is still a fright.
The endless nerves of meeting someone new
Because how do I know that they are true.
Combine that with my sublime fears
Which always turn into quite tears,
And maybe then people will understand why
I feel as though everything’s a lie.
And while my friends are there when I’m low
How do I tell if they are actually foe?
Although on the outside I look oh so happy
On the inside I feel truly crappy.
Is it that scary feeling of my life being measured
That makes me think I’m cracking under the pressure?
Will I ever get passed these feelings inside,
Or will they stay with me until I die…?
Oh how I wish I could have reversed this all
And maybe then I wouldn't fall…
I’m lost and floating all alone
In this place I’m supposed to call home…