I’m sitting you down here today because we need to talk.
You know what? I take that back.
I need to talk. You need to listen.
Over the course of our relationship, you've already done enough of the talking.
And I just had to tell you this in person.
Because no text or phone call can thoroughly iterate what it is that I’m trying to say.
I want you to tune in to the very words that I deliver from my mouth.
Focus on the emphasis of emotions that I write across my face.
I’m finally settling down.
I’m finally realizing who I am and what I’m worth, and quite frankly, you and I, we just don’t work.
Sorry, I’m not sorry, for choosing I over you, because you dang sure weren’t sorry when the roles were reversed.
Where do I begin?
I should’ve stuck with my intuition when we first met, the word regret was written all across your face.
But I acted as though I possessed blind eyes and couldn’t see.
I kept on loving you.
I thought my heart could hone yours into the heart that I wanted it to be.
So, I let you in.
It seems in those times when I'd strip for you, I was revealing more than just my naked body, but my heart too.
I shared my darkest, most intimate sentiments with you.
I thought you’d feel sympathetic.
I’d lean out my head, only to discover that your shoulder was nowhere to be found.
I knew, early on that we were bound for failure.
But I just couldn’t leave you alone.
You filled a void in my heart.
You numbed the ache that my heart felt from past breaks.
I was hooked on you.
It was like I was strung out on methamphetamine, you numbed the pressure.
It was like I was addicted to pornography, you satisfied my desires.
It was like I was problem gambling, I kept failing, but I held on to the little hope that I had that said I'd eventually succeed.
Whenever I reminisce on that very day that I met you, the feelings of despair and dejection haunt me once again.
But oh now, how I I hear the soulful, tenor voice of Sam Cooke singing, “It’s been a long time coming, but I know a change is gonna come.”
This time around, I’m not taking time out to use my love to heal anyone else, but my own self.
I need me more than you and anyone else does.
I know that if I gave her as much love as I’ve given you, she will rise.
I know that if I put as much effort and energy into her, that I put into you, she will evolve.
Until I learn to love myself, those who don't will continuously draw nearer to me.
All I ever need to feel complete was me.