Cigarette burns and bloody towels on my carpet make the world seem like a bitter lonely place

A place in which I stare into the mirror and can not recognize my own face

For I have scarred it with knives and left red dripping stems of fluid

 

I am lucky to be alive

 

I am lucky to be alive ever since my parents came to find

They came to find their pretty white angel had black demons hiding in his mind

They could not believe that he would attempt to take his life

but they found me

 

I am lucky to be alive

 

Even after the weeks spent sitting silently staring so soulfully at iron windows

I look back at my decisions and realize how close I was to die

For even in my time of darkness and self mutilation I realize

 

I am lucky to be alive

 

I am lucky that the music runs through my veins thicker than blood

I am lucky that I did not have to grow up in a shotty neighborhood

I am lucky that I have a family that cares

And I am lucky I didn't pass whilst falling down life's stairs

 

I am lucky to be alive

and I believe that now It is true

although I never thought I could carry on apart from you

 

But I did, and I am so happy that It is over

For you were merely a figment four leaf clover

 

You were nothing I would reskindle, 

nothing I would save

nothing I would want back

for nothing I behaved

 

So I still sit here 

lonely in my life

realizing that I am god damn lucky to be alive