Lump in My Throat

If not caught in time, it can kill.

A body trying killing itself,

does not only cause physical,

but emotional strain.

Even if you don't realize it,

but only a lump.


My lump wasn't only just swelling.

It was a war zone.

A war zone of by own body trying to end it's life.

All I knew was fatigue and the "need" to sleep,

every hour of the day.


I was at the age of eighteen to find a new doctor.

She examed me head-to-toe,

and spotted the lump on my neck.


My final diagnosis,

after what seemed to be, endless testing, 

I have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis.


Treatment was just a simple pill,

BUT, the side effects were:

short term memory loss and extreme mood swings.

I jumped from emotionless,

to overly emotional.

I started to lose track of what to do each day.

I just simply felt insane, in a way.


After two months of daily treatment,

I tried to understand to control my emotions.

Although it's a tough battle, 

I become stronger mentally from my own body trying to die.

Knowing this is going to be a lifelong condition,

with highs and lows,

I know that I will be ready for what's next to come.

This poem is about: