The Luxury of Falling Apart

Tue, 11/11/2014 - 10:39 -- kuzmabl

Location

Tall. Blonde. Blue eyes. Skinny.

Perfect.

Make up on?

Yes.

Good girl.

Deep breath.

Pull back the curtain.

Smile, damn it.

They have to beleive.

Stop.

.

.

Rewind.

.

Still tall Still blonde. Still blue eyed. Still skinny.

Broken.

Curtains are closed, it's ok.

No one can see you now.

You can cry.

.

A daily routine.

It begins with regret.

I don't want to leave the bed.

Sleep is ignorace, therefore, also bliss.

You have to get up.

Why?

They'll know.

So what?

If you stay, they win.

...

I'm up now.

Put on your mask, no one likes to see puffy eyes.

Tie it good.

No cracks.

No one can know.

Adjust the curtain of blonde hair.

What's wrong with your eyes?

Nothing.

They're dull.

I can't fix that.

They're supposed to sparkle.

They used to.

Never mind, just go.

.

I exist out of spite.

To prove they have not completely conquered me.

One day I will regain my strength.

One day.

But when?

.

I would love to crumble.

To tear down the curtain.

To shatter the mask into a thousand pieces.

But I don't have the luxury of falling apart.

If I fall, no one will catch me.

I will break and be scattered by the wind.

I'm too proud for that.

Everything's fine.

No.

Everything's great.

I will not become anoher tragedy.

.

For God's sake, pull yourself together!

You're about to go on!

.

Tall. Blonde. Blue eyes. Skinny.

Perfect.

Make up on?

Yes.

Good girl.

Deep breath.

Pull back the curtain.

Smile, damn it.

They have to believe.

 

 

 
 
 
 

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