the first word that uttered from my lips.
rewind that VHS
what happened to holding fingers?
tiny ones aching to grasp yours.
feet stumbling to nameless routes
should've been a compass,
i never learned to walk,
i was too busy running.
what happened to dress up and princesses?
all i've been wearing are grown folk clothes.
sunday church was left unattended
who is God?
you were my God before i even knew
who God was.
you planted flowers in my throat,
was it love?
or that you wanted to make my voice a gravestone?
i don't know love because you never showed it.
your little girl was hurt
she was crying.
my heart is mangled,
its remains entombed
in my chest.
a walking corpse
with vacant eyes.
i promise you
my little girl will not be like this.
deficit of what is supposed to nurture her.
i will plant flowers
in her soul.
she will love herself
more than i ever loved me.
she will not be a princess
she will be a queen
every moment will be captured
in a photograph.
her hands will know mine
she will become one with my essence,
one with my scent.
i will hold her so tight
even if she breaks
no piece will fall to the ground.
her feet will touch the earth
fearless of the thought of being alone.
the ring of pain ends here.
i will love her
you didn't love me.