Limp limbs pulled taut,
Head high, gaze empty.
Strings pull lips into grimaces
Everyone sees through and believes.
The day begins.
Clumsy stumbling through daily routines,
Monotonous motions move
To the sound of a ticking clock.
Over and over, day by day,
My thoughts and actions are controlled by you.
Stomach growling, I reach for food.
Strings twist, arms restricted,
The pursuit ends.
Food forgotten, hunger remains,
Back to work.
Question asked, hand raised,
Name called, mouth opened, answer given.
Over and over, with mechanical movements,
The day continues.
Ignore the ravished stomach.
Ignore the desire to socialize.
Ignore the tears threatening to fall.
Ignore all who are not you.
Night falls, embracing us in dark.
Strings go slack. Feeble body falls.
Pretending is finished for now.
The day is over.
Continuing through life,
Every day, every moment,
Just the same as it was
Until one day, the strings sag abruptly,
Without warning, not in daily routine.
The strings have been cut.
Falling, falling, falling.
Falling into my mind's depths,
Drowning in thoughts I dared not touch before.
Standing aside, you scream,
"Stupid little girl,
You should know how to swim."
But how can you know when
You've always been kept above water?
The water is calming.
Finally, I can breathe.
Under clear blue streams you cannot penetrate,
The dark gray above recedes.
I am free. I am in control.