so you take a sharp edge

and you put it to your skin.

all the while things flow,

tears flow fast stinging your eyes and blurring your vision.

blood flows crimson red and you're scared and you're alone.

the air flows circulation in the dark stuffy room.

you're thinking this is the end and maybe your body will drain

of the blood and the color will drain from your face.

the act, itself

was easy and painless.

it was not until after.

after you stopped crying

after the blood languidly reduces to a trickle...

drip

drip

drip...

it was after all that you realised

and understood.

It’s not worth it, and it’s true

none of it is.

but in the moment, at the time

it helped you get whatever life issues that had been happening that night.

people telling you your worth and the fact that they believe

you are worthless.

you are unique and you can’t understand.

how they can promote living life but be responsible for making you

want to end it for yourself.

how they can say all these things when all you want,
and the same they want too,

is to be loved for who you are, for all that you are.

it’s not always the fact they belittle you with names

or when they glare at you and scoff your name,

no, but it is the fact they tried to change you.

the fact that you are not good enough for them.

the fact that to earn their love and atention you have to change you.

change who you are..

the only thing you know how to be, the person God made you.

and you shouldn’t have to change to their pleasing.

next time sure to think of who they are talking to.

maybe its not their blood running through your veins,

nor their dna you obtain

but you are a part of this world whether they like it or not.

and because of that  

I see you doubt

your face, your body, your mind..

you doubt it all.

you doubt your future is as bright as some say

and that someone can love you for who you are

and all that you are

or what you have to offer

their desire to change you and have a perfect balance

destroyed your mindset and drive.

it fueled your insecurities.

until this day you hide down inside

and confide in yourself and no one else

has the privilege to know.

your face shows the now but I look into your eyes

and there reveals the past and the things that define you

you are not ashamed but definately not proud

until this day you still can not understand the safety

you remember feeling that night

with the sharp edge gliding down your youthful skin

bare and ready

to be marked.