I went to go see you

I wrestled with myself about it many times in the past

I didn’t want you to catch on to how I felt

But that day was different

The past night I’d barely survived myself

And you know exactly what that’s like

That was one of the few days in my life I had breakfast

I decided that I was going to talk to you because fuck it

I was falling apart

I went to your place just as you were leaving

You said you’d tell me when you got back

That you wouldn’t take an hour at the most

You were there, you remember

Anyway, I waited

Restless and sick

Keeping busy with errands close by

You came back and invited me up

You gave me cough drops

You gave me two hours

The option to take a nap

The contact I desperately needed

We talked about nothing, each other

We educated the other on the in depth topics

Eventually someone else swung by and it was time for you to go again

I felt uncomfortable

As I was leaving you gave me this look

This sad “I’m sorry” burned into my mind

All I could do was give a sad smile and leave

I came back that night and you gave me cough syrup

I gave you my number

I don’t know why

I just wanted you to have it in case you needed someone

I hope you’ll use it someday