May the Ants March on

Thu, 08/06/2015 - 17:04 -- Cynn
     Mom do you remember singing the ants go marching every time I was scared or had a nightmare? Your lips in sync with my heart, your voice my metronome, and I couldn't let u leave in fear that if you stopped singing my heart would stop beating. But on the days you had to go, I told you my best friend Daisy would be there for me. Thinking nothing of it but a phase, you laughed and said "okay baby, I'll have to meet her some day" but when the day came that Daisy stopped leaving my side;my friends started calling her imaginary;you called her anxiety. I thought you meant that was her last name and I was so happy that you could see her too. From then on Daisy thought it would be okay to stick around. She became my teacher. By the age of 3 she taught me there are only consequences when you make mistakes so color inside the lines at all times. By 5 she she showed me how cheaters never win. I didn't understand that one until I saw the divorce papers on the kitchen table. At 7 she said "Be careful with repetition; all words can lose their value." For instance: I love you. I love you. I love you. For instance: I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm-Okay so for a while Daisy went on vacation. My first day of high school she came back and generously brought me a souvenir named Fear. They both agreed I didn't need a perfect attendance. Fear's big brother Courage came in from out of town. He said "Its alright I got you. Go ahead speak up. Kid, how do you think popsicles were made!? So what if you mess up!? Honey, God gives us 24 hours to either succeed gracefully or fail beautifully. Sweetie, you're not making mistakes you making history!!!" Fear said to trust no one so I swallowed courage down. But he only made himself at home. Filled my veins like alcohol. Became my pulse. Became my metronome. Anxiety and Fear yelled "No! Don't you remember last time?!"
Courage simply corrected them saying: "Oh you've got it all wrong. Scars are signs of living. Forget what happened last time. Remember? Danger doesn't wait to hide behind the curtains of dusk. Last time doesn't matter! Here's a list of all the things you ever asked for and here's a list of all the things you ever got but here's a list of all the things you're grateful for. Thank God for the frowns, it was the only way I could have ever learned to smile. That list is the best-no it's perfect-nononono that list is awesome.
     Mom do you remember singing ants go marching? I'm glad SO you stopped.
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