Maybe if I got Raped, They would care
Location
It's all my fault I kept saying
I was the reason everything happened
That's all I kept hearing in my head and from my family
I messed it up Not him He was the pious man everyone looked up to
He couldn't have did it
It must be a lie
He has his own wife and kids
What does he need from a 12 year old
The police didn't believe me, Foster care system didn't believe it
I didn't mind taking the blame but really all I wanted was for it to stop
I was sick and tired of having to act like I'm fake sleeping as he layed behind me.
I was tired of the moments in the car with his hand on my lap
I was tired of being forced to sit on his lap
The worst days were in the morning
Everyone was asleep and he was horny
And the 12 year old is confused
They told me why I didn't I tell him to stop
Why didn't i yell
How are you supposed to figure out what's going on by the time he puts his hand in your shirt
Or the fact that you've trusted him
Or the fact that he started it off so sneakily
Who in the world says hey come here let me Molest you
I guess they found some shame in that I guess they're modesty grew now
A year of sneaking around and lying and trying and scared
Everyone around you acting like they don't care
Then you start to rebel because life seems not to be fair.
Then everyone looks at you like the bad child but doesn't understand what's happening at home
What's happening there where she's all alone
Loneliness is never physical.
You can be around one million jillion people but still be empty on the inside
You're turning to people hoping you find someone that will help you
Then one day after he tried to put it in.
After God saved you and let someone walk in.
After the person acted stupid and walked out
Then the man got scared and you saw what he was all about
So you're siting there wondering why
What did you do wrong
Maybe it was the way I dressed
I guess I led him on
Damn 12 year old always doing something wrong
Didn't understand life couldn't even figure out a thong
Yet she was to blame
Because the old man had all kind of fame
And he was big time with a huge name
And she was stuck in a situation where there was nothing to gain.
The little girl still asked why
till she opened up and told a friend
Who got her in trouble
So much trouble with fam
She was furious at the friend
She didn't want anyone in trouble
She just wanted it to stop
Stop the abuse Stop the cuts
So she turned from one guy to another to another Hoping they would give her what he's supposed to
That they would protect her and hold her close to
Hoping maybe they didn't find her as a piece of meat
Hoping that they wanted to be with who she really was
Hoping that they can get rid of all the pain
She just wanted them to be kind even if they didn't mean it
make sure next time you talk about her you get it right
Cause in her soul there is a real fight
And the one she loved obviously had no sight
He didn't
or couldn't
or didn't want to
or didn't know how to
or couldn't control his self
or just didn't love her.
But I loved her
because there was no one else too
And when she cried
I burned too
And right there I wanted to die
But why would I want to die
What could have she wanted
But I loved her not cause
I had to
not because I needed to
but cuz she wasn't mad at him
She was just hurt
She wanted it to stop
She wanted to be loved
I gave her my hand and held it real close
I wanted to inject in her real love
if even just a dose