The Me That No One Sees

In the public eye, I am happy, joyous, full of personality,

In my bedroom, I am sad, depressed, full of sorrow,

I look around at the world around me, see the expectations, the judgment,

I change my persona, my personality, around the different people around me,

Depending on their personal expectations and judgment.

 

 

Not everyone will like you, or appreciate you.

But, I always make sure they do.

Call it “fake” or “forged” if you will.

I have a fear of people disliking me.

I have a fear of being rejected, teased, or laughed at.

For this reason, the “me” everyone sees, the “me” that is nice and considerate, is my mask, my cover to hide all of the messed up and unflattering hidden emotions inside.

 

 

My emotions inside.

Unfavorable, disliked, intimidating, stressful, overwhelming.

For this reason, I do not show this side of me to anyone other than myself,

In fear that my feelings of hatred towards myself will scare off possible relationships with other people,

In fear that my low self-esteem will freak others out and persuade them to steer clear of me.

All I want is to be liked by everyone, and I am.

But, unfortunately, the one person that does not like me is me.

I am my own worst enemy.

 

 

The true me is someone who loves to play video games, be alone, and watch movies.

I am an introvert, but who likes an introvert?

Introverts are “selfish, lame, unfriendly”

But really, we are kind and generous people, we just prefer to be alone than around grand groups of people.

But no one seems to understand.

We’re “weird” and should ignore our want to be alone and “jump on the bandwagon of extroverts” because being an introvert is strange and unlikeable.

 

 

I am an introvert, but who likes an introvert?

 I have learned my lesson.

Don’t show the real you, DON’T show the real you, it’ll just scare others away.

It’ll frighten them into finding someone else, someone better than you.

It’ll ruin your likeability and you will have no one.

This is not the alone I meant when I said I am an introvert.

 

 

The me that no one sees.

I promise I am full of life, but, it seems that no one has time to search for that light.

I hide away the me that no one sees because it is much too difficult for others to discover and help recover.

They give up, go on to someone much easier to figure out,

Someone with less problems.

Someone who isn’t me.

 

 

The me that no one sees,

Awaits for the one that will gaze, that will look, that will discover,

The one that will uncover,

And the one to help me recover and rediscover.

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