Me without the Bling

 So, yeah you can find my pictures on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat but you can see me in person and be looking at a whole different person. In those pictures, I look happy, new, beautiful, and confident. You see a girl that could turn heads when she walks through the door. You see a girl that looks joyful... But is that what I really am..? 
  In reality, there is no filter. My skin doesn't look flawless- my skin is covered with dark lines that haunt me from my past. In reality, you don't see that beautiful smile and sparkling eyes. You see a closed mouth and dead eyes. You see a girl that's quiet and doesn't speak a word because she doesn't want to be part of the world. She'd rather stay at home and edit pictures into something she wants to be...
  You see me sitting at the front of the classroom. My black hair covering my face like a curtain, trying to hide me from reality. You see how whenever someone walks pass, I pull down my sweater sleeves to hide the scars. You see how I turn my head away from people when they look at me. You never hear me talk so you forget how I sound like. I never want to interract so you forget that I'm even there. But why?
  On social media you don't even hestitate to "like" or "favorite" my picture. A picture that isn't even who I truly am! Oh, so I don't look so pretty in reality- so what if I'm not the girl that you want to be! Why are you so tempted to "like" a edited photo but in reality...walk pass me and forget me as if I don't exist.
  I think that's why I do it. I edit my photos so that I can remind people that I am still here! 
  I'm just a girl that wants to be noticed...
  I'm just a girl that needs help but have no one who can help me.
  Me without the bling is who I want to be...
  I wish those filters didn't exist so that every time I snap a photo of myself I have to edit it to a way that would look...better. I know I'm beautiful without the filter but with it...I just feel better. Because an editted photo doesn't show the world my scars, my dead eyes, and the way I turn my head. It shows the world that deep down inside me, I'm still alive enough to fake a smile.

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741