Mental Illness
Mental Illness
Undiagnosed and I’m not sure what you are
But you never stray far.
He never strays far.
You follow me around, you hide behind walls.
You hide in the stalls.
You hide under my bed.
You hide in my head.
He lives in my head.
He hates when I’m happy.
He loves when I’m sad.
He knows when to strike
To destroy my mood
He’s a part of my life
No matter what I do.
Eyes black as the ocean at night
Filled with the delight of fright.
Always dressed in a black suit
And you exceed my height.
Feeding off my negative vibes.
You think you’re so mighty
But in all actuality
You’re nothing other than a narcissist.
Nothing but an illness.
No one likes you;
You bring them down,
Yet you think you wear the crown.
I couldn’t be better
I’m happier than ever
I’ve never been more zealous
Somehow this makes you jealous
Because like an archer aims at his bull’s-eye
You aim at my mind.
Raising your arrow from behind.
Inhale. Exhale. Release. I’m hit.
So much for having a good day;
I’m so tired
Everyone irks me with every word they say.
I can’t stand to be around anyone.
I just want to scream.
I just want to sleep.
Now I’m starting to believe
What you whispering to me
I’m nothing special, nothing great.
You’re filling me with resentment
He’s filling me with hate.
Just leave me alone!
I can’t take anymore!
I’m in so much pain
And I don’t feel sane.
But no I’m not that bad, others have it worse.
I should suck it up, I’m not special.
Here you come again, second wave now
And you’re worse than ever so maybe I do need help.
Time to swallow my pride.
Time to take what the doctor prescribed.
Undiagnosed and I’m not sure what you are
But you never stray far.
He never strays far.
You follow me around, you hide behind walls.
You hide in the stalls.
You hide under my bed.
You hide in my head.
He lives in my head.
You think you’re so mighty
But in all actuality
You’re nothing other than a narcissist.
Nothing but an illness.
Amber Fernandez