Stop.

Please.

 

You don't know how much it hurts

to stand in the middle of a party

and see everyone having a great time

...

and I'm terrified.

 

You can't imagine the fear

of standing in a grocery aisle

needing help finding something

...

and I'm on the verge of tears.

 

Isn't it possible that I'm not the way you wanted me to be?

Isn't it possible that no matter how many times you tell me,

"It's all in your head"

"You just need practice"

"You're exaggerating things"

I still shake at the thought of calling my best friend over the phone?

 

It's all just too much

Too much noise;

Too much sounds;

Too much activity;

Too much change;

Too much uncertainty;

Too much fear;

It's all just too much.

 

I can't be like you.

No matter how much I want to.

And no amount of 

prodding,

pushing,

guilt-tripping,

tricking,

forcing,

talking,

nor convincing,

will make this go away.

 

It won't.

I've tried.

 

So can you stop?

Please?

I'm not going to change anytime soon.

So if you could just accept me...

 

That might actually help.

 

~Your Socially-Anxious Relation