Metaphorical Love

Location

my tears fill the bathtub we bathe in

they wash away the dirt of today

you caress my scars

kiss away

the blood u spilt

im addicted to the pain you cause me

cradle me as you kill me

cuz at first i had butterflies fluttering

i thought

a sickness in my stomach that you masked calling nerves

now you're getting on my nerves

and i realized the butterflies were fluttering because they were scarred

trying to get away

from our pesticidal relationship

a mutual understanding of our parasitic love

sucking the innocence from me

a life force of deep crimson color

biting my lips till they sting

licking up your trophy

as you lean back to make me look

you were a crook

im your partner in crime

blamed for my actions

as you hold the spell over me

he who shall not be named

you bend me to your will

its demented

how u suck all my happiness

make me think that you're the only one who can make me happy

a fake patronus charm of love

masking the reality of my inevitable end

an end you brought down on me

an end i asked for

a contract i didn't read in full

i accepted to your terms and conditions without warning

I didn't see the bold red letters that labeled you as hazardous

a toxic chemical

weaponizing hormones

a chemical infatuation

labeled don’t touch

don't consume

and i assume u knew

the whole time

the whole world knew

but you made me deaf you spoke for me

i didn't listen to to warnings they mouthed to me cuz you signed to me something different

you said they're jealous of what we have

and i believed you

walking blind into a grecian arena

battling my true self

armed with a shield of lies that you provided me

than threw me in as you watched like a king

proudly picking popcorn as i pounce on my opponent

plunging spears in places spears shouldn’t be

heart stop beating

true self beaten

and i'm addicted to the kill

to the pain of battle you imposed on me

I miss the misery you bring

the thoughts you left me were only ones of self righteous suicide

but i can't take away what you already denied

so take me

make my heart beat faster until it beats no more

bite me

and be my parasitic vampire

a seductress cloaked in the night

of childhood nightmares

when dreams become reality

and the reality is that nothing comes to be

a begging victim

asking for the blade

youre getting away with murder

and i'm your accomplice

cuz i'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

its a shame

that you got to me first

because now i can’t see a future without you

like a slave that gave up on any hope of freedom

i came accustomed to the whipping

the starvation of endearing contact that didn’t hurt

you swang low

a deep blow

but my chariot didn’t come

when i looked over jordan lake I didn’t see

no white ambulances came for me

I was left to you

as it should be

stockholm syndrome

no place id rather be

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