Moment of Clarity

Thu, 01/16/2014 - 12:19 -- CraigJ

Locations

99022
United States
47° 34' 57.3996" N, 117° 43' 9.4908" W
99022
United States
47° 34' 57.3996" N, 117° 43' 9.4908" W
99022
United States
47° 34' 57.3996" N, 117° 43' 9.4908" W
99022
United States
47° 34' 57.3996" N, 117° 43' 9.4908" W

When u look at me what do you see? It’ll be better if u picture me with your eyes closed. Without the accessories and nice clothes. Ignore the nakedness of my worn body and look into my soul. And what do you see? Do you see the insecure boy who can’t sleep? Do you see the young man who still dreams? Do you see me trying to worship and be all I can be? As I strive each and every day to move my family to a better place and I won’t stop till I’m in a better place. Not necessarily earthly but spiritually, but physically can you see me? No. You see the joyous, young man with no worries and complaints. But everyday it’s like I need restraints as I hold in this rain of so much pain. I could break the levees in New Orleans again with all these potential tears. Yet I go through each day with zero fears. But you don’t see that. You don’t vision the complexities of an actual survivor. I beat cancer with no movie, no books, just love and faith. You don’t see that I’ve lived the life of 50/50. Every day is still a battle; I might seem “normal” but 5 years later I’m far from that. You don’t see that I push my feelings way back... I mean waaay back like 4 flats on a Cadillac Naaa way back like King Tut being 16 still being a great king way back. Like King Tut someday I want to be buried in a tomb of gold and be taken away. The Pyramids of my ancestors continue to build me up, but you don’t see that.  Matter fact almost every day I pray and ask the lord to bless this day and make it better than yesterday, so that my tomorrows can be better than my todays. Now before your mouth gets to dropping and your heart gets to stopping because my words are quite shocking get these words through your noggin THIS IS NOT a suicide note. But I always hope that I can one day stroke, backwardly in my own pool at my own home, sleep on my own couch know what I’m talking bout? Maybe I’m dreaming, maybe I’m foolish, maybe this is a suicide note, maybe it should be, or maybe I’m just trippin’. But before I end this piece with peace love and chicken grease I beg of u to answer me, when I ask, do you see me?

 

#You Only Write Once Poetry Slam 

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