"Fireworks" you murmured
That summer afternoon
Wrapped in your arms on the couch
A kiss that ended so soon
It was my first with you
Beforehand didn't matter
And for weeks after we shared lips
Until I saw your self-confidence shatter
I think I know why you shy away
No not from skin-to-skin
No not from nuzzling up close
No not from sleeping betwixt legs
But from kissing my lips- what I love most.
My first kiss happened in the sea
Some blonde hair stranger stole it from me
I thought he was mine
But he was not- I learned- in time.
When I look at you,
I don't think of he,
I think of a baffled mind- smug smile- brilliant blue eyes,
I think of you and I making we.
You joke about the past ones
The ones who you said left no mark
The ones you kissed, you romped-
I was not the only spark.
I know each one left a memory,
With heartbreak comes those damned things,
One definitely broke you by far,
And now kissing is the forbidden fruit that which you cling.
You told me you don't like kissing
At first I was offended- but I learned,
That for each heart we have cared for,
There are casualties to which we face.
To you that is face to face
Too many memories take place,
I see you hesitate- concentrate- take your place,
Oh- but when our lips touch it is insecurity I taste.
The taste of your lips is bittersweet
Your hugs and hold and your words are so warm,
But your lips stay so cold...
You say you feel nothing when our lips meet.
But the moment after the kiss,
That breath- the meeting of blue and green,
I know you feel something if my anhedonia-braced heart does,
I see it in your eyes- The world is too mean.