Murdered in my thoughts....

Hysterically, I laugh at what I want to do to you.

What you deserve.

You clearly don’t think I’m crazy.

Well, clearly I’m about to snap after you used and abused me.

You had no idea what I was planning, what I had already planed for you.

My tears of sadness turned to revengeful laughter,

Revengeful eyes starred at you when you laughed at my misery, laughed in my face, and behind my back.

A mere heart attack you’ll have when I have the last laugh, the last Ha-Ha.

I promise you I will get even; I threaten you I will get even.

It’s no joke I’ve revoked my love for you, how I wished I could do harm and alarm your mind, and cause pain amongst your brain.

The suffering you will endure for sure.

I laugh when you plead to me about being free if you just relax it will be quick and easy.

Hopefully there won’t be a lot of blood to clean up after.

Or maybe you’ll drown in your sorrows wishing you’ll see tomorrow, wishing the sight of light was bright enough for you to break loose.

You begging me to stop and drop this knife that’s against your throat, you hope this rope tied to you r body isn’t real.

So here’s the deal…I’m still debating on how to do it, how to make you scream to redeem yourself.

I want you to shiver and quiver with fear. I want tears to run down your face as if you were already in pain.

I want you to understand the hate in my heart I have for you, and what my mind wants to do to you.

The bruises the scars you left on my body, the uncountable times you stepped, broke, and shattered my heart, this part of me I can never get back. You took the part that was happy and loved life, the part of me that loved you so much.

You don’t see the damage you have done.

But its understood the good that will come to my soul when I hurt you, burn you, and pretend to mourn you at your funeral. 

I will borrow fake sorrows to explain your “accidental death” or you r “madness driven suicide”.

I’ll cry and cry until they put you 6ft under, underground to rot in the dirt of hell where you belong.

So how should I do it? Should I use a gun and shoot you with a bullet filled with anger and pain I feel when I look at you?

Should I slice your throat to ensure than when you look at me you’ll understand how crazy I really am? That’s simple right?

How simple it was for you to just love me, instead of making it complicated by hurting me.

I don’t know how I’ll do it. I don’t’ know when I’m going to do it. But just know its there. In the back of my mind every time you find a reason to hit and shit on me, kick me when I’m down and out.

Just know I sleep with one eye open …and you should too. 

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