My Captain

Gathered together, we leave behind doubt. Our journey begins; we board and set out. The ocean is vast, filled with known glory. I chant in a chorus, "I like what's before me." Abundant emotion, yet my captain is stoic. We require his guidance, he's viewed as heroic. Our connections grow stronger as brothers in arms. Our lives have a purpose, we can overcome harm. In unity, we see everything has value and meaning Yet I question myself, "Can this be deceiving?" Many reassurances from others help settle my qualms They show me I hold everything in my own palms. I lie to myself, pretend I'm no different. There's no big picture, we enjoy every instant. In spite of my major internal conundrum, I play by their rules, I fit in amongst them. This journey is great, its where we belong. But the thought is recurring, that something is wrong. Everyone's happy, content with their lives. Something is missing, they should have families and wives. There must be more, at least one other chapter. I long to fill voids, I must know what comes after. I find what I seek, but its just a near miss. I'm the only one different, I hide in an abyss. I lose hope once more, how could this happen? But I am consoled by my trustworthy captain. I stare into an ocean, drowning in despair. But my captain shows me that all is still there. I'm told that its normal, its just how life goes. But with a mind of my own, I doubt it is so. They live as they're taught, they simply don't question. Perhaps, we're alone in a sea of deception. My will has grown, it is strong once again. I've decided its time for this journey to end. And with that, the sea strikes, water splashes my face. I open my eyes, everyone's gone with no trace. How can this be, was it all just a concept? I flip through more chapters, but find voids for their context. My mind is running wild and all types of crazy. How could it be that my own thoughts would betray me? But there's still one more way I can find out what happened. I seek the advice of my trustworthy captain. "Oh captain, my captain, this chills to the bone. I can feel nothing but empty and cold. Oh captain, my captain, how can this be?" My captain won't answer, for my captain is me.