My Carousel

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I stand and I spin,

No, I don't spin, I only stand;

Glimpses of joy tease- then dance away

Spinning, whirling, leaving me behind.

I can't get off, I can only wait.

Wait and hope it will all end.

But if I wait, I settle for this ride.

My heart wants so much to dance along,

But my mind won't let my feet leave the ground.

What a lie my hopes create,

The chains, the chains, they hold me back.

My mind saves me the pain.

Emotions surge, drowning my soul,

I can't disapoint, what a thing to think!

As more figures join my helpless dance,

They shine, all brilliant and beautiful, each its own color.

Stars orbiting me on this ride, spinning, shining, dancing!

Oh, how lackluster i feel!

A dull rock, chained to the floor

While they shine and sway and fly!

With each i feel like i can finally dance,

Then they spin away, and my clumsy feet find the floor.

Pain, guilt, racks my mind

Until the next dancer pulls me away

And I let them, welcoming the distraction.

For who controls this ride if not I?

But it is not I.

It couldn't be I.

And so i ride. I know I must get off,

But i fear reality.

The cold, the fear, I cannot bare.

The dark, the pain, no one kind.

A false shoulder I do take,

And wouldn't dare complain.

For I have found the joy in life, more than some can say.

Joy in love and joy in life amongst the twinkling stars.

A dance here, a dance there, I stay off my feet.

Its only when my feet come crashing down,

That I see the lie I live.

I stand and I spin,

No, I don't spin, I only stand...

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