My Name

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I was 8 years old.
My light up sketchers with my pink book bag outshined the sun and my smile.
Entering the school with excitement I hear one kid say "Woah shes fat" 
That day sticks with me/
The slow eating.the crying.and the shyness took over 
I was labeled FAT my name wasnt Tanesia it was whale.gorilla,and Ugly.
As the years went on middle school approached 
My name was erased and WHITE was in big letters.
Another name.
Then Slut Whore and Ugly came along sticking with my name 
Tanesia Lakira Faucette was never my name.It had always been Gorilla Ugly White Whore. 
I was ashamed that extra large began to be writting all over my body. 
Ashamed of never being skinny,ashamed of being FAT UGLY WHORE AND WORTHLESS 
Wishing I could feel the stingy up my throat and see my names in the toilet.And flush it down with my extra large hands dripping those white tears.
Seeing how I was too fat for the stingy up my throat.I continued it with the cutting of myself.
Damaging myself for letting me be this way 
Cutting off the extra large skin. 
Scraping my skin off hoping for a new one.
The scars showing that I was not white Im black. 
That with my voice and personality matched a color.That no its not white Im black.If its still not enough then Im blue.
I am not living.Im dying. 
My Breathe Is Fat 
My eyes are asian 
My hair is black. 
Im a fucking extra large,fat,worthless,ugly rainbow 
But Im saying fuck it. 
I write poetry I have depression 
Im a self harmer.Im done with all these names placed on me 
"Hi Im Tanesia"

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