My Nights (Wonders and doubts)

I stare at the dark abyss of my bedroom
Daydreams flow through my head
And I wonder
A question that has bugged me for years

Are you still alive?
Did you only act like you were going to kill yourself?
Like so many have done after you?
Where are you now?

I also wonder about others
Did you really love me?
Or were you too focused on getting some?
I will probably never know

As my daydreams slip in and out
I continue to wonder
Will anything return to the way it was?
Or will I still hold a grudge?

In five years
If I ever see them again
Will I hold a knife to their throat?
Threating to slice it every five seconds?

Or will I have let go?
Will there have finally been an apology given?
Nah
I don't think so
They're to prideful and hardheaded

Maybe things that they are going through
Will change them?
Who knows?
I just have my wonders and doubts

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