My not-so-secret Secret

Sun, 08/17/2014 - 23:28 -- zejulie

My secret is,

I actually like to talk quite a lot.

Most people don’t know this, but,

Being reserved and quiet gives the impression that I am antisocial,

Not wanting to engage in conversation, not knowing what to say,

And in the end, I end up saying nothing.

I just smile, and nod.

Sometimes I want someone to talk to,

Well, most of the time, I talk to myself.

But, being me, I haven’t had anyone else.

Having a lack of a social output keeps me in my range,

Not changing or doing what I can potentially do.

I honestly have no idea what I am capable of.

To be honest, my secret identity has been faded and washed away by what society thinks of me, And they treat me like a mime,

Ignored, unvalued, and unable to speak back,

So a mime I have become.

 

My second secret is,

I actually want to become a teacher of some sort.

It’s just my lack of confidence forces me to be indecisive.

Even my lack of experience talking, gives me anxiety whenever I speak to a crowd of people,

Or whenever I hear my own voice.

I think I’m funny, sometimes, but, that’s just me.

I actually feel very lonely,

through all the smiles I give.

It would be nice to speak and be understood,

Instead of listening all the time,

Whether it be by classmates, fellow teachers, or even family.

Contradicting, and non-mime-like.

It’s not like I chose this path of a silent identity,

The silence chose me.

I need to develop my own secret identity again,

and this time,

I will make it not-so-secret.

 

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