my thoughts after mama asked me "you don't like me, do you?"

i was just laughing at something. don't remember what.

you just wanted to suck the mirth from me because that is what you do

it's mother's day tomorrow.

this is why i hate this holiday.

and did you know?

i spent nearly all of my money buying you a purse today,

because the one you bought was not big enough for you

and all your lies, bank statements, credit cards, lists and

all of the crap you don't need

i spent nearly all of my money buying you a purse today,

because i was afraid of what would happen if i didn't

and i remember what happened last time

how you ranted and raved and made yourself the victim

i spent nearly all of my money buying you a purse today,

because it's you who doesn't like me,

it's you who treats parenthood like a bargain to be repaid,

it's you who makes me feel like the lowest trash with a smile and a change in your tone of voice, just low enough for only me to hear and fester over when i can't think straight

i spent nearly all of my money buying you a purse today,

not because i don't like you,

but because i am afraid of you

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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