This is all in your head.

This is all in your head.

This is all in your head.

 

That's the most terrifying thing of all,

That what is destroying me

And breaking me apart is

My own mind.

 

There is literally no one else in the world

Who knows what is happening to me

Because mental health is so phenomenally unique

To the person who suffers from it.

 

There is no cure against yourself.

 

And I think that's why us 

Mental Health Patients feel so alone

Because a broken leg or runny nose

Means something is wrong with your body

But Anxiety, Depression, and Schizophrenia 

Are disorders of the mind

Meaning there is something

Fundamentally wrong with who you are;

The very core of your being is messed up

And it's completely out of your control.

 

It's all in my head

But it isn't enough to cope with

And live with anxiety as it 

Lurks at the back of your mind on your way to class

And as it presses against your throat making it hard to breathe

When you wait at the bus stop

Or even as it turns your blood cold and makes you

Shiver uncontrollably for hours on end

Until seven in the morning when you're sore, awake, and exhausted

And your dad wakes up for work,

Telling you it's all in your head and go back to sleep

Even though it feels like you'll never sleep again.

 

It isn't enough to put up with yourself.

 

We are fighting a battle for control.

We are fighting a battle for freedom.

We are fighting ourselves.

 

I've knocked myself out so many times

But my anxiety is a part of me

Embedded in every tissue and every nerve 

That cannot die unless I do.

And I wouldn't be fighting if I didn't want to live.

Spare me your pity;

Pity doesn't win wars, soldiers do.

Let me be alone in this,

With myself,

With the terrifying things in my head.