a hole in the heart,

a gap in the soul.

the ever-widening

rift of fear,

isolation,

and paranoia,

cracking the mind.

all oozing out,

mixed together

in a drunken,

poisonous stupor.

shallow tears

leave stains on

faded pillowcases.

 

out of nowhere

floods depression,

that old monster.

a scream,

a sob,

blood and tears

becoming one.

no reason to be

sad,

it’s just the

monster.

lurking in corners

Of the brain, planting

ticking time bombs

that will explode

any second now.

they go off,

bursting into tears,

screaming,

shattered silences.

 

the monster’s friend,

paranoia, approaches.

they hate you,

you screwed up,

if you dare speak,

they will not listen.

they do not want you here,

you are a burden.

landmines now,

one misplaced step and

they explode,

burst into tears,

screaming,

shattered silences,

fear,

loathing,

distress signals.

 

two more now,

twins, named

doubt and regret.

if only you had.

if only you hadn’t.

you shouldn’t have.

you should have.

turn time back.

fix what went wrong.

make it all right,

so none of this

ever has to happen.

the twins send off

missiles,

recklessly,

poisoning you, and

they explode,

burst into tears,

screaming,

shattered silences,

fear,

loathing,

distress signals,

missed chances,

rotting memories,

entrapment.

 

the last one,

death.

crawling slowly,

but surely coming.

grabbing onto

all that is good,

corrupting it,

to ash.

drive off the road,

jump off the bridge,

take the medication,

hang the rope.

no explosives here.

sending out poisons

in their purest,

yet still filthy,

forms.

tears,

screaming,

shattered silences,

fear,

loathing,

distress signals,

missed chances,

rotting memories,

entrapment,

suicide.

 

freedom.