Nine Months

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 05:23 -- Questah

Nine months.

I carried you for nine long months.

All the crying, all the screaming.

All the second guessing.

Nine months.

So afraid, and so naive.

What was I supposed to do?

Month 1.

18, no job, no car, no self worth.

No idea you were even being created.

Hating the life I lived.

Month 2.

18, no job, no car, no self worth.

News that would change my life forever.

All the tears.

The fear of being a single mother.

Month 3.

Pro life turns Pro Almost ready to make my choice.

18, no job, no car, no self worth.

How could I love you when I dont even like myself?

Month 4.

Pro life.

18, no job, no car, no self worth.

I feel your kicks.

I dream of a perfect life for us.

Your father breaks my heart.

Month 5.

18, no job, no car, no self worth.

You and your movements keep getting stronger.

I get stronger by the day.

I think about adoption.

Month 6.

18, no job, no car, no self worth.

Your father comes back.

My heart slowly falls back into place.

I am thinking about how to decorate your room,

Month 7. 

19, no car, no job, no self worth.

We have a baby shower.

For you.

Taking steps each day.

Month 8.

19, no job, no car, no self worth.

Your movements and kicks grow stronger.

So does my love for you.

I pick out clothes for your first few outfits.

I cry, I smile. 

I even want to dance.

Month 9.

19, no car, no job, all the worth in the world.

The pain.

The lack of medication.

The pushing.

The embarassment.

All worth it.

For nine long months.

I carried you for nine long months.

I never imagined a love strong.

Never for a 9 month relationship.

But nine long months I would never take back.

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