The nip of the blade sinks deep into the skin,
Adrenaline rushing through every cell with each sweep,
Feeling like you will be forever happy and unstoppable,
Once it fades, all you want to do is weep.
One more knife strike to make it all goes away,
Not feeling the pain, just the thrill of it all.
Left to deal with the blood, scars, and regret.
Getting the feeling like everything will fall.
Everyone thinks you are ok and everything is fine.
Nobody can know, nobody can see what you do,
If they find out than everything will disappear.
Your whole life will be nothing like it was too.
Everyone is staring, watching every move.
No more hiding or doing what you have always done.
Everything is restricted and you feel locked up,
There is nothing, at all, you can do for fun.
Twisting, turning, falling, everything that you had.
This life will never be the same or ever will be.
Wishing you never started this in the first place,
But, you can never go back to take away what they saw.
Having to talk to everyone when all you want is to hide.
No more secrets, no more lies, all things are the truth.
Needing to confess all that happened, all you felt.
Everything that you want and long for goes poof.
Trying to get all too how it was before they knew.
You should've stopped when you tried so many times,
But the addiction was too strong to overcome.
You were too weak to deal with these crimes.
Now all is getting better but not back to normal.
Without friends and family you wouldn't be here.
You can always know they will help you through it,
Giving into the call of the pain is what I fear.