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I’ve been

Awake full nights,

For the past three months,

Because I’ve got nothing to do.

So instead of doing nothing,

I instead do nothing and

Think about you.

I try to go to sleep,

But thinking ‘bout sheep

Just won’t do the trick for me.

So my brain can’t help it so

It just defaults to

Revolving around you.

 

Yesterday was just a train wreck for me.

Freeshie Freeze was the destination to be.

You guys came for a birthday to

Celebrate, And I was there,

And stress-ate my ice cream.

 

I could see you in a crowd of your friends,

Trying to avoid weird eye contact with mine,

And my mind is racing,

“Goddamn it John. you’re running out of time to…”

 

Alright, I get it.

You don’t want me around.

But I won’t leave until I hear the

Very sound of a goodbye escape from your mouth.

Because I know you just want to

Shut the door,

Lock it,

Put it in your pocket.

 

And forget about me.

 

Remember this was the

Same place I exchanged that love letter

For an awkward ride home.

You read read it when you got your room.

 

Got a text from you hours later,

Weeks after we drifted apart.

Many hours later,

My heart just crashes to the floor.

 

You never wanted us to be like this,

But we never got to talk about it,

So we’ll never think again,

At least, not you.

You never wanted us to be an us,

But times change, and we both change our minds,

At least, just me.

So, this is what I’ll have to face till this blows over.

But can’t get rid of it,

And I want to go back to drinking and

Cutting wrists,

But I won’t let myself suffer from my insides.

 

Instead I’ll try to think of something else,

Try to kill a friendship,

And try to talk to someone else,

“Ok Google, search

‘How to forget someone who has a

Place in my heart?’”

 

Alright, I get it.

You don’t want me around.

But I won’t leave until I hear the

Very sound of a goodbye escape from your mouth.

Because I know you just want to

Shut the door,

And leave,

So you don’t have to deal with me.

This poem is about: 
Me
My community

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