"no sofia and i"

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“her and she"
 
 

nothing louder than a car crash

on an easy morning 
nothing like mourning that moment
for the rest of your mornings to come
the smell of rum on the lips
I’m always so very distant 
never wanted to be defined 
by my actions, the time alone i spent
with my broken mind, and a 
heart that manages to keep pumping its blood
it all just seemed like a dream, so quick i always 
seemed to miss her more than she missed me
she preferred sunsets, i never slept so 
 i watched them both, the sunlight 
always hurt my eyes from endless sleepless nights 
for countless days so my heart is set to the setting, 
but theres nothing like a sunrise
taking my eyes away from the dead
when i remember i tend to cry, it would seem
i would prefer her eyes instead, maybe just maybe
i miss the pain she gave me, the prick
she left to dig beneath my skin
which still robs me for gasps of breath, remains 
and for a moment in just that moment as i mourn
the prick becomes a memento of immense meaning 
i guess your pain never truly left my body
perhaps it was your blood that has stained me
perhaps the thought of you has sustained me
perhaps it was her bite that had sucked the life out of my veins
your smell your scent your spell, as i continue to dwell
why did god bring me so close, yet so very 
far away , to touch her skin , to feel her smile
she warmed my cold soul slow with her poison 
love is just as lethal, to dance with the (devil)
you must have first (lived) backwards 
when your forward is no longer for your word
and all you thought about was her
and in just a blink she was no longer on your road
so where am i supposed to put my eyes?we were so high
she made me feel, and that was enough that she made feel
because i was nothing but numb
now her image in my mind is so still, but i can still feel
so what if she loved me less than i loved her, as long
as she released the pressure before the stress reached my neck
she would always rub my back, but nothing more than that
ironically this would create even more tension, as heat arose 
i always ignored her need for attention because i loved suspense
anything but the ordinary, never ordinary love, maybe 
we never took off with much velocity but my love for you was dense, she would always catch me off guard at first glance 
i tried to escape from her for many days, but it seemed she went where i went, and i went where she went, even if i made my mind out of reach, she would find the place in space just in time
how can you run from what is in front and behind 
i would always catch her eye looking side to side
i guess i never thought that our hatred love would die
i guess i never thought of death 
when i would gaze into your dark eyes 
i pray one day when i awake that you 
would still be alive in me, just one more chance
just a little more spiteful romance 
just one more glance at those eyes
when they were still alive 
maybe i too should die, but i can’t stop living till I’ve lived
i love you, and that was never a lie  
 
 
 
-leo will

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