Nobody Ever Told Me

 

Nobody told me that it was okay to speak my mind

 

Not just the fluffy, fuzzy pieces of my mind

 

But the dark corners, the judgments, the truths that sting red against the skin

 

Nobody told me that it was okay to say these things

 

They make people uncomfortable

 

They hurt feelings

 

They remind people that bad things happen

 

Nobody ever told me that it was okay to not be pretty

 

To not be feminine

 

To not be masculine

 

To be neither and both and either and bits and pieces and parts and fragments

 

Nobody ever told me that I was ugly

 

No, they preferred ‘butch’

 

and ‘dyke’

 

and ‘fat’

 

and ‘stout’

 

But nobody ever told me that it was okay to let these words get to me

 

And nobody ever told me that, apparently, my hair was a political statement at all times

 

To be judged by the masses

 

Nobody ever told me that my body was a battlefield upon which wars would be waged in the form of diets

 

thicker-fuller-longer-better eyelashes

 

plumper lips ‘oh if you just used this product you’ll be beautiful’

 

thinner arms

 

a flatter stomach

 

and clothes that JUST. DON’T. FIT. ‘Would you like to try the next size up?’

 

‘No ma’am, I’d like a society that understands my body, please’

 

and eyes that tilt just enough to show my heritage (‘Oh Gosh, what are you mixed with, dear?’)

 

and a nose too small

 

and products and products and products

 

Nobody ever told me that it was okay to say ‘No, thank you, I’m fine without makeup’

 

Nobody ever told me that it was okay to wave my fist in the air and shout ‘FUCK THE SYSTEM’

 

because shouting is not lady-like, and girls don’t use those words

 

You’ll scare the boys away

 

You’ll sound like a bitch

 

You’ll present yourself as a butch-dyke-feminazi

 

Nobody ever told me that it was okay to be a butch-dyke-feminazi

 

Nobody ever told me that it was okay not to care about what boys thought

 

Because boys are not the end all, be all to my life

 

Nobody ever told me that the world was so jumbled

 

Because nobody ever told them that they could un-jumble it

 

Nobody ever told me

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