This is Number Three

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Haunted by the memories of you and me and our nothing's, our could have been's and almost'... wondering if you shared the same visions as me once, wondering do you ever think about me, because it's killing me, you see.  Regretting as I reminisce -suffering because I just can't help it. Missing you or just broke so bad because I've never been rejected,  not like this. I cant bring myself to communicate this to you directly because deep down my gut is telling me,   "he will never understand how or even why I feel this way."No rekindling, there's nothing lost in his eyes   it's just my pain I have to disguise. I feel better for a while, "victorized!"finally feeling "over you"   but then weakness creeps back from the pits of my womb and the anguish, hurt and desire takes its place,consuming every little happy space.   Triumphed. Steady seeing myself, play myself. Helpless of no one to blame but my own meek heart   and my sleeve that reveals its precious art. You've apologized which meant more to me than you will ever know.Curtain it? My love? I do not dare for my faith is built from the beats of love,   my savior died in the name of love so why should I hide mine?I rock it proudly, baring it   and all it's vulnerableness.I see my default my one track mind   the devil uses it against me, -I will not give him the power.Never allowing me the light,  He won't win.-But still I wonder, I always will   until a boldness leaps out that even the swiftest can't steal. Regaining every ounce of me back   so I can move on, no longer haunted, no longer longing. Free until my love is souled.

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