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Oh, Internet!

How I love thee -

Your world wide web

And plethora of information

Constantly distracts me.

I can talk to many friends,

I can read about the news,

I can even download everything,

And best of all, it's free!

 

Oh, Internet!

How I love thee -

My love for you

Goes unbridled,

It's shameful, shameful of me!

My dearest, I love you

So much that I could hate you.

Of all that I could erase,

I will only erase you.

 

And now that you're gone,

I can be more attentive.

And now that you're gone,

Even the world has some privacy.

And now that you're gone,

Phones and mail are the only means

To exchange illegal information.

Oops! I seem to have thwarted

An enemy operation -

You being gone has helped

Not just me but every government.

From the U.N. and CIA

To the French Police Force.

 

Oh, Internet!

How I do love thee -

Your fast connections

Allow me to retrieve any information.

But alas! I have erased you,

You devil of humans, you.

Now at home

I have no need to lounge about.

To the library for information,

To the movies and bowling alley

To talk to friends,

And to the newspaper for the currents.

 

Oh, Internet,

Although you made everything

All so very easy,

The world should say “thanks”

For it can no longer be lazy.