One More Chance

Wed, 10/31/2018 - 15:45 -- richr11

I feel nothing

 

I'm so scared that's so bad

 

I feel nothing, nothing at all

 

not happy nor sad

 

 

 

Yet I feel so empty, I feel so alone

 

my head filled with anchors, my heart is a stone.

 

 

My brain fills my head with thoughts like an ongoing battle

 

except I'm getting shot while I sit here in shackles

 

 

I fear there's no escape, from this personal hell

 

I'm dancing towards death, awaiting the knell

 

 

Yet I stay here still standing, I'm too scared to give up

 

I'm afraid what might happen if I choose to belt up

 

 

I'm scared for my family, what would they do?

 

I'm scared for my friends, how would they make it through?

 

 

I'm scared for my brother to be an “only”

 

The problem is, I just can't stop feeling so lonely.

 

 

I just wish I could stop feeling so anxious

 

My mind is a pulpit, my thoughts are so languid

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then I just feel myself snap-

 

“You know what..it'd be easier if I let myself hang,

 

Or a gun?…...bang.”

 

 

“or what about a bridge!?

 

Ah! A sure way to die!”

 

So I write my will or, at least, try.

 

 

I stand by the railing, silently saying goodbyes.

 

The note I have left will explain to them why.

 

I take the step up, the largest I've took.

 

And right as I'm about to jump....

 

 

…..“STOP!” and to my left I look...

 

 

A girl my age stands, she's a stranger as well

 

Yet she knew the right words, to make my pain quell-

 

 

“You mustn’t give in”

 

“You must find the strength, it's somewhere within”

 

 

“You cannot succumb, you must never bow”

 

“You can beat this, I swear, you just must just learn how”

 

 

“You have purpose here, that is certainly true”

 

“Sir, PLEASE push on, you CAN make it through”

 

 

Please sir, please, give life another shot!

 

Please go talk to someone, even if you think it's for naught!

 

 

“Please, I know you feel blue”

 

“Please sir, step down, if not for me, then for you”

 

 

Slowly my knees begin to quiver....

 

 

“Please sir!!

 

I'm pleading!!”

 

“Trust me, I've been in your place!

 

I've lived in the place where the sun does not shine

 

Where day after day, life seems so sublime

 

I sat after he committed suicide and stared at the wall

 

and I felt like you, like there's nothing inside me at all

 

no desperation or joy

 

nor happy or mad

 

just a little sad nothing

 

who felt nothing but sad.

 

my parents called the doctor

 

He said “we'll give you these pills that won't let you sleep right”

 

So I stared at my walls for the day AND the night

 

And everyone said “You must be tough, you cannot give in even when life's gone rough”

 

But I had decided enough was enough.

 

 

I went to the store and bought corded rope

 

I felt so dead inside, I just couldn't cope

 

I tied the knot to the railing real well

 

And I jumped off the chair hearing death's bell

 

But the rope gave out

 

And I'm happy it did

 

Because the second I jumped, I WANTED to live.”

 

 

 

 

 

To which I replied:

 

“I came here with the purpose of dying today.”

 

“I had had taken the key and thrown it away”

 

 

“Something inside me snapped.

 

Like a big rubber band”

 

 

“I hated my life

 

Thought I'd been dealt a bad hand”

 

 

“Stranger, I thank you.

 

“I feel less alone”

 

 

“And If it weren't for you,

 

I'd 've jumped,

 

Right now I'd be dead.”

 

 

“But I think I'll step down from this railing,

 

and thank you instead.”

 

 

So down I stepped and thanked the girl,

 

This giver of hope.

 

I'd give life one more chance,

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Just like her rope.

This poem is about: 
Me
Our world

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