Death surrounds me like a blanket of black and blue

How many times;

Interesting how it started to happen as soon as I was old enough to determine

what was valuable. meaningful to me.

He was caught by surprise

on the way to pick up his younger brother from the bus stop as he did every day

a noble, brotherly act

and the car came as he cruised down the road on his skateboard

and it was

over

at least it was painless. instant

and I called and called and called

but your phone lay cracked on the pavement

next to your lifeless body

Hers was slow and agonizing

I watched her chapped lips open and close slightly as she pushed for another breath

the morphine silently pumping into her four year old body

as the nurse continued to drain fluids from her stomach

she couldn't take any more

and I prayed and prayed

Lord, there has to be a way

for her to stay.

Now grandpa

I f*cking told you to stop, didn't I

since I was three I'd climb onto your lap and pull the smoldering roll of decease from your lips

and grandma and I would go outside in the rain and throw your packs in puddles so you

couldn't light them

at 12 i started to worry, telling you

you had to see me walk down the aisle and

hold your first grandchild like you held me

and now the doctors are telling you

you won't even live to see my graduation,

now you regret it, don't you

but you knew it for 18 years, didn't you

you've known it all along, haven't you

When death comes and takes one more

I remember why people only see half of me

on a good day

I am afraid.

Get too close and you'll be hurt when they're gone. they always leave

they always leave and you're left wondering why

and why you opened up to them in the first place

People know me. They know part of me, they do.

It's not that you won't ever know me. You may get to know me very well

but on the other side, something else is waiting

to take you away from me.