every time it touches me it

feels so real, but when it's gone

i keep doubting myself and life becomes a

game of was-it-real-was-it-not and

i'm so damn tired of second-guessing myself,

to have to figure out if it was a lie

or the truth.

and i just wish i could remember

everything before it, everything that has been forgotten:

a pair of glasses fogged over, words

on the tip of your tongue, or

air stuck in your throat and you don't know if

it's your fault or if it's something beyond your control and

now you are tantalus forever trying to reach wine and bread,

now you are a "normal" human being and i

don't know which is worse.