The Other Side of Addiction

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I’m sorry if I’m coming on too strong,

But I was wondering why

When we think we think of addiction

We think of bottles, and white powder,

And cartons of cigarettes,

And protruding bones and fingers down throats,

Because those things are not the whole of addiction

Just the byproduct of a bigger fixation

on the fact that we are faulted and imperfect to the point

of not being strong…

now, don’t get me wrong,

I've felt the singing of smoke in my lungs

And the burning of Bacardi 151,

And let me tell you, I am not an addict but I know addiction

Because I've seen in and heard it in my very own kitchen

Where mom and dad would fight and instead of admitting

Their own faults

Admitting each others…

Need more examples? Here’s another:

I was addicted to the pain I felt when my first love abused me

Not physically, emotionally

And when I could have gotten out I didn't and stayed

Because the truth of the matter is that’s where addictions lays

Not in a bottle or carton or end of a straw

But the part of ourselves that can’t admit our own faults

Because we as a people are addicted to thinking we’re right

And when we can admit that we’re wrong

That’s the first step to an addiction-free life.

Now, don’t misunderstand me I’m not at all perfect

But when I admitted my faults I freed addiction and made my life worth it

And honestly, through no help of my school

Because as long as I can pass a urine test

Everything’s cool.

But what those stupid bastards just can’t seem to figure out

Is sometimes we’ll slip up and say “yes”

to hands on our bodies and hurt in our chest,

well by then saying “no in the first place"

doesn't fucking matter.

The point I’m trying to make here

is that while saying no is an awesome concept,

if you make a mistake but can’t admit it

you’ll be trapped in this skin you don’t seem to fit in

and addiction sets in  and when you can’t get out

just take a step back, accept you’re not perfect

and stop filling in the holes that you think you lack.

 

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