I’m afraid

Because you say you love me.

 

It breathes through our talks,

Hidden in praise and jests,

Where I can feel when it bubbles up

And I beg you not to say it

Through subject changes

(Do my hips really sway?)

But it lingers on my teeth

And makes me feel guilty

 

And it’s the scent of your prose

Bitter but flowery

Wafting from poetry about girls

Oh so cruel and pretty

And I read every word

Because I don’t deserve you

(But I’ve got you)

Are they about me?

 

And through it’s been long since I’ve heard

I still remember the words

A “Marry me” that fell weightlessly

And pens on paper incriminatingly

And while I miss you I don’t miss the feeling

Of telling eyes “No” that looked so hopefully

If only because I can’t be what you need

I can’t love you like you love me

 

So I am afraid

Of who you want me to be

And I'm afraid

That some day you'll say

You love me too plainly